Household Rules

“Kiss your kids every night, even if it wakes them up.”

– God is in the Small Stuff

Eva was not quite one year old yet, and a dear friend of mine, who would babysit for Eva when Chuck and I went out once a week, had come over that particular evening. We were chit chatting before Chuck and I left and I made mentioned that I was exhausted trying to figure out Eva’s schedule; when she would be hungry and when she would nap. I told her I had no problem scheduling my home and life but when it came to Eva, I seemed to be falling short. She very kindly, yet firmly, looked at me and said, “Kristen. You do not look to Eva for her schedule. You are the mother. You set the rules, not her.” Why, in all my years of growing up in my parent’s home I didn’t catch on, I don’t know, but when my friend spoke, it was as if all the confusion came together in clear order. Control switched in that moment and I took the driver’s seat.

Even in Eva’s young infant stage, I needed some ground rules in place to make my home run smooth. I needed her to know who was in charge and who was not.

Having rules to govern a home makes it run smooth. I never liked “Saturday cleaning day” or “No talking on the phone after 8pm” when I was growing up, but I see value in these guidelines as an adult. Without realizing it, the friendships I had as a young girl, came with similar rules as well. The company we keep will largely affect the direction we will go.

The beauty of a river is found within the confines of its banks. Rules are the banks which let the river flow rather than stagnate.

Susanna Wesley bore deep child rearing convictions upon her shoulders. She was born in 1669. She married at the age of nineteen and ironically had nineteen children in total. Sadly, nine died in infancy. In her writings, you can find a list of her household rules. These rules were strictly enforced and followed in her home. These are her rules which she set within her home.

1. Eating between meals is not allowed
2. Children are to be in bed by 8pm
3. They are required to take medicine without complaining
4. Subdue self-will in a child and work together with God to save the child’s soul
5. Teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak
6. Require all to be still during family worship
7. Give them nothing they cry for and only what they ask politely for
8. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of
9. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished
10. Teach children to fear the rod
11. Never punish a child twice for a single act
12. Comment on and reward good behavior
13. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended
14. Preserve property rights, even in the smallest of matters
15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well

Albeit, many trials travailed Susanna, she fought back, with her children’s upbringing at the forefront of her convictions. History calls her the mother of “Methodism” because two of her sons, John and Charles, as children applied the examples of their home life. John and Charles Wesley later exemplified their upbringing in taking their mother’s approach in her “Methodism” and became the founders of the Wesleyan or Methodism teaching in early Protestant Christianity (and we think our children aren’t paying attention).

I am not trying to give a history lesson in Christianity, but merely trying to point out the affect that our household rules have upon our children. What better example than Susanna Wesley? It is said that she followed the Ten Commandments religiously and her rules were created around her faith in God and the loving Father that He was.

Teaching the Ten Commandments within our homes, even at a young age, demonstrates who God is privately and allows the children the tools to demonstrate HIM publicly.

As children, and as adults, rules seem to get in the way of the fun we would like to have. When in reality, a stoplight keeps us from t-boning oncoming traffic. It is kind of like the law of gravity. In as much as we want to jump off our roof and fly like superman, we know if we do this we will fall. Defying the law doesn’t change its existence. Giving a toddler a handful of rocks and watching him throw them in the air will not end well. No matter how much “fun” he is having.

I love what my cousin said to a friend of hers after being confronted about electronics. They do not allow electronics to be used much at all. Her friend commented by asking if that didn’t just drive her crazy without the kids being occupied? My cousin voiced her thoughts with such tact, she said, “Yes they do, but they are my children. I chose to have them and my husband and I will raise them. It is not an electronic device’s job to raise my children. It is mine.”

None of us will have the same rules set in place for our children, but the common bond between parents who parent and those that do not is so direct in her statement. Real parenting sees the leadership that God has entrusted to them and execution happens without their consent or our popularity.

Our children may not like to toe the line while they are young, but their neatly arranged homes and organized garages will stem from days long ago when making the bed was a part of the household rules.

Howard Household Rules

1. Say I’m sorry quick, forgive quick
2. Treat and speak to others with respectful manners at all times
3. Pray together daily
4. Never let a day go by without a kiss and a hug
5. Keep life simple

Welcome Home

“My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother.” Proverbs 1:8

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