I disapproved of the movie shown to my three-year-old. It was innocent, but even with a plot of good triumphing over evil, I knew it would scare Eva; a dark villain or a wicked queen would start the waterworks. Instilling that kind of fear into her was not something I wanted to do, but I kept walking. Once I reached my car, I opened the door and sat down. Do I drive off and act oblivious to what I know will bother her to save face, or do I practice what I preach and do something about it? I got out of the car and walked back inside.
Judgment calls happen every day. I judge the amount of candy my girls will eat, the friends they will hang out with, and the brand of ketchup I buy down the condiments aisle. My role as a gatekeeper within my home demands that I make judgment calls; I must choose this over that, despite popularity or the risk of being judgmental. The Bible sets apparent parameters as to how judgment is to work. Parameters are set based upon the fruit being produced (Luke 6:43-45). If I see signs of an improper influence, I can determine that the fruit is rotten and will not add value to my children or family.
Judging has been poorly misunderstood and taken so far out of context to pacify wrong behavior so that no one will point a finger in our direction. Jesus does not forbid criticism, opinions, or the condemnation of wrongdoing. What he forbids is censoriousness, the spirit of faultfinding that overlooks our shortcomings while assuming the role of the supreme judge regarding the sins of others. The Bible is clear that I am to clean up my ways to see clearly to help others (Matthew 7:1-6).
My mother and father never required kindness from us girls while demonstrating rudeness themselves. They modeled what was expected of us, even when they didn’t “feel like it.” I also saw repentance and forgiveness when mom’s fiery red hair got the better of her (I love you mom).
My folks believed in personal rights and privacy. They never over-stepped the bounds of personal space unless we gave them cause. They would pray to God for wisdom so they could make the right judgments when needed. It always amazed me how much He would help them.
God helps us as parents to see things with our children that we might otherwise miss, good or bad. I can’t tell you how many times the Lord has helped me by sending someone my way just when I needed help or direction in raising my girls. Other times he has given me ideas I had never thought of before.
A few months back, Eva and I were at the store, and we saw an individual in a deplorable state. It was evident as to what put them in that state. I shared with Eva how our choices affect our life.
We are teaching Eva (Charlotte’s not ready yet) that people have the right to make any choice they want in this life, but that doesn’t make their choice right. Choices against what the Bible teaches will take us down a road we do not wish to travel.
I felt a sense of relief walking back to my car that day. I was glad I spoke up about the movie. I also found appreciation from her teacher for bringing it to her attention. Movies were closely monitored for the young toddler class from that point on, and I was grateful.
Trust the Lord to help you as you teach your children. Don’t drive off. Make the judgment call.
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“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit. For each tree is known by its own fruit” Matthew 7:16
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