There was a little boy who told his parents he did not want to go to kindergarten. They told him if he didn’t go they would be put in jail. The boy stopped and thought for a minute. Then he said, “Reckon how long ya’ll would be gone?”
The hallway seemed to engulf us with its busy traffic of students scurrying to their destination. It seemed to go on for miles and still the walk was over in an instant. Watching her backpack encompass her tiny frame with her matching lunch box in hand, caused a lump to catch in my throat. Every loving mother has had this experience, or will. It seems comical that kindergarten takes us all by surprise. We know this day is coming yet we ignore it for five glorious years. Then, just like that, it’s here without warning. Our grip tightens as the moment moves closer. The kindergarten milestone is bitter yet sweet, filled with excitement for the children and a bit of heartache and cheer for the parents.
She has been exclusively mine for five years and now I must trust someone else to pour into her. If only there was a window I could peer through to make sure life was treating her just like I had envisioned. A mother never sees trouble or bad grades; only praises and play. If only life worked that way…
So many encounters I will not be directly involved in; encounters I cannot see. I must trust that the basic fundamentals Chuck and I have begun to deposit into her will come out when needed. My mind takes flight at times wondering what the days will bring when a soft familiar voice whispers to my heart, “I will watch over your children when your eyes cannot see.”
Taking Eva to school brought back so many memories of my own school days. Buchanan Elementary School was where I met my life long best friend. She broke my crayons on the very first day! I got her back though. I talked her in to walking home from school with me so we could play without her parent’s permission (you can guess how that turned out); Learning to read and write, library time, P.E., and of course, lunch time and recess! There was so much comfort and assurance entering the same school each year; meeting the same friends for another fun filled year of growing older together with new adventures to pursue.
Now, it has become one of my deepest desires for my children to experience the same thing. I want them to remember the playground swings, library story time and being student of the week.
An older gentlemen struck up conversation with me the other day while waiting in line at the co-op. He saw Eva and asked how old she was. She told him she was getting ready to start kindergarten. He said that when he was a boy his mother gave him no sense of security or stability. He had been in twenty-one schools in twelve years. He went on to say that when he grew up, he was determined not to repeat that type of example to his children. His goal in life was to find a place to remain and offer his kids a taste of what normal looked like. He finished by telling me about his recent family vacation. He sat at the head of the table one night and looked around. Forty-six years of marriage had blessed him with a total of twenty-five children and grandchildren. He looked at me and said, “putting down roots is worth it.”
With his words still ringing in my ears. I knew this was the beginning of a new season for the Howard’s. It was time to get my hands dirty again; baby Charlotte was counting on me to teach her all the things I taught Eva. I had to make sure we left the same root system inside Charlotte that we were leaving in Eva.
Dropping Eva off that first day of school left me with so many emotions as a mother. My tears didn’t surprise me nor did Chucks soft heart and gentle side comments telling me to pull it together. Even Eva’s strength to head off on her own didn’t take me too much by surprise; she’s so much like her daddy (with my sweetness thrown in). But it was Samson that caught me off guard. Strolling along outside with Charlotte after we had taken Eva to school, I told Samson to go play. He took off down to the creek only to find it quiet. The toys lay in the sand pile motionless in need of Eva’s little hands to bring them to life. I watched Samson look one way then the other wondering perhaps where his best digging buddy had gone off to? He decided playing wasn’t the same without her and he joined me and Charlotte for our morning walk. We have all been expecting this day, but not Samson. Eva growing up came as a complete surprise to him.
Thankfully, animals adapt much quicker than humans do. Eva’s new three o’clock pattern will seem like an old hat in the weeks to come. The creek will be a buzz of activity while Samson dives for rocks and Eva digs for treasure. Maximus will take his rightful place as patrolman, if he can leave Charlotte’s stroller long enough to check in elsewhere. The quiet will once again be drowned out; offering me a renewed reminder that not much has changed.
Growing up is a wonderful thing. Mainly it is just hard on those doing the watching, not those doing the growing. Even though the grip has been tight, I have loosened where it is needed. Now, go learn BIG things little girl because I will be waiting…
Welcome Home
“Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance.” Proverbs 1:5
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