Make yourselves nests of pleasant thoughts, bright fancies, faithful sayings, treasures; houses of precious and restful thoughts, which care cannot disturb nor poverty take away from you; a house is built without hands for your souls to live in.
John Ruskin
It was early, but it couldn’t wait. I needed answers. The prophet Samuel has always been a hero of mine. How could I have missed this? I had read about him many times, more than I can count, yet I never saw it until now. I knew where I could find my father. I also knew it was early Wednesday morning. He would be expecting my call. He is always up before the sun, drinking coffee and studying the Bible. He answered. Just like I knew he would. I got the good mornings out of the way and jumped right in. “Samuel was one of the greatest prophets and judges over Israel, yet his sons did not serve God. Why? Did he forget about his home, about his family? How can this be? Explain this to me.” He said nothing. I could hear him thumbing the pages to get to the scriptures. Then he said, “I need to study this. There is a lot here. I will get back to you.”
We visited about other things and then hung up with our goodbyes. A few days had passed since I had heard his thoughts on the matter. They were so profound that I asked to pen his thoughts in my following writing. Find a place to sit and listen to a man who not only preached the Gospel while I grew up, but never forgot he was a family man first; his secret is revealed.
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“Now it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons judges over Israel. 2 The name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judges in Beersheba. 3 But his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice. 4 Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, 5 and said to him, “Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.” 1 Samuel 8:1-5
Successfully passing the baton of Godly leadership to our sons and daughters is an accomplishment many ministers have wanted for their children. Yet, appointing never equals anointing. Giving someone a position never ensures a smooth transition. Rather than casting blame on these sons who lost their way, let’s drill down a bit deeper and see if there’s any possibility of failure on the part of Samuel. First, remember that Samuel was raised by Eli, whose sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were both failures as priests and leaders in Israel. When we succeed in ministry but fail as fathers, we are remembered for our failures. Samuel abounded in anointing; he was the last judge of Israel to walk under that priestly authority and anointed two heads of state, Saul and David.
Samuel was God’s answer to a faithful prayer from Hannah. However, many public figures have failed in their private family life. Public anointing is never a barometer of our home life.
My childhood memories are not complex; Just happy times spent enjoying the company of those who meant the most to me – my family.
Mary Katherine Devine
Remember this about ministry. It is never better to meet the needs of people in your church than to meet the needs of your family. My children are my heritage, and my first role, after that of husband, is father. If I fail to instruct as a father, the ten thousand others won’t matter. In the end, I am responsible for my household first.
It is essential to reach all I can for Christ, but the light that shines the furthest is the light that shines the brightest at home. We have seen the failure of Samuel’s sons here in these five verses. Yet, could there be a reason for their failure? Look at the closing words of chapter seven. 1 Samuel 7:15: “And Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life. 16 He went from year to year on a circuit to Bethel, Gilgal, and Mizpah and judged Israel in all those places. 17 But he always returned to Ramah, for his home was there. There he judged Israel, and there he built an altar to the Lord.”
How much time did Samuel spend on the road away from home? Was so much time spent traveling in the ministry that his sons developed resentment and envy for their father’s attention and absence? How many 4-H rodeos, ball games, or talent shows did Samuel miss while away doing ministry? When ministry demands more than time will allow, the sacrifice will be more than you can pay.
Choosing the office of preacher, pastor, evangelist, conference speaker, etc., will leave the office of Father empty and lonely for those to whom you are assigned to be fathering. Joel and Abijah had issues to deal with, but that does not excuse Samuel or give him a pass for neglecting an office as important as Father.
It is a common mistake made among Christians today to view successful ministry leaders as examples in all things. Samuel was called by God while living in the temple with Eli. Calling does not replace training, and Samuel may have lacked the training a son needs to be a good father. That training is done at the supper table and the family prayer circle. That training comes from helping mom with the supper dishes until sons and daughters can join the effort. At times, fathering must be on the other end of discipline and correction, while at different times, it is found in the gentle, loving hand on a child’s shoulder as you confirm your position as one to be followed. Sometimes, more guidance is found in a catcher’s mitt in the backyard than on the mission field in a faraway country.
As long as my family loves what I make, that’s blue ribbon enough for me.
Aunt Bea, The Andy Griffith Show
“But his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice.” These sins don’t suddenly appear where the correct example has been. Weeds will grow where there is no hoe. It wasn’t Samuel’s failure to teach or preach against such things, I suspect his absence allowed these weeds to grow.
I was once asked to speak to a group of men about “The Absent Father.” As I took the podium and looked into the eyes of scores of men looking to me for information about this common problem, I heard myself say to them, “I cannot tell you about the absent father, but let me tell you about the ‘present Father.’ My father wasn’t perfect. My father wasn’t famous. My father wasn’t wealthy, but my father was there. I can tell you about the feel of his beard on my face as I embraced him for a good night kiss and a hug. I can tell you about his hands on my shoulders and his belt on my behind. He made me feel safe because he was home at bedtime to tuck me in bed and seated at the head of the family table for supper every night. If you would avoid the pitfall even Samuel failed to see, be there for your children. Your presence at the supper table gives them the best shot at the game of life coming later.”
From those we are listening it is important to remember that while Joel and Abidjan lost their way, Joel’s son (Samuel’s grandson) became known for his vast wisdom and musical talent. He grows up to serve in the court of David as one of his wise counselors and chief musicians/ psalmists.
Hope for the next generation is not lost when the present generation loses their way. God always redeems those who seek Him. Maybe Joel found an altar of repentance, or Samuel intervened; either way, each generation has to meet the God their fathers preached about.
Love, Dad
The following day, we talked about what he had written to me, and he ended with this powerful warning. I sat there, listening, staring at arts and crafts on push pins; toys all over the family room floor and pictures of my family cascading down the stairway wall. Some pictures were hand- drawn. Charlottes first bird hangs there. She was so proud when she walked it over to me. I told her I knew right where to hang it- framed. She smiled big. Our home was drawn by Eva. The caption read, I love you, Daddy.
With tears in my eyes, my father resounded to me, “The accolades and credentials one must have to impact thousands, millions come at a high price. One I was unwilling to pay. Greatness to the masses always produces large numbers, but it’s a deep, dark pit they fall into. Their families are offered upon the altar of this abyss they call success. Never is someone brought on stage and celebrated because of how many family activities you attended, 4H events you hauled, or family suppers you wouldn’t miss around the table or tears you wiped away. It’s not the laughter you enjoyed that they give you a plaque for, yet that is the real success. Don’t forget what I’m telling you, Sis: the real success is found in these un-applauded moments from the masses, yet your children will give you a standing ovation for showing up, for staying. This is the real measure of success.”
For I do not wish to see you now on the way; but I hope to stay a while with you, if the Lord permits. 1 Corinthians 16:7
