It really didn’t matter what we were leaving the house for; Our parents never let Brittney or me leave without saying, “Remember who you are,” especially if we were going to spend the night at one of our friend’s house.
The integrity behind it did not sink in initially, but my parents were diligent in reminding us of the importance of those words.
First and foremost, we were Christians and needed to behave in such a way that honored Christ in everything we said and did. Secondly, we carried our family name everywhere we went. Brittney and I became a direct reflection of our upbringing in the absence of our parents. Of course, we were far from perfect and made many mistakes, but Mom and Dad were always there to see that mistakes were mended and dealt with accordingly.
In their own way, Mom and Dad would talk to us about the importance of character.
Dad would tell us to be a trustworthy friend. He would tell us not to pick fights but be a peacemaker, and then he would whisper, “But if you have to fight, make sure you win!”
Mom would tell us to be a blessing while at our friend’s house and to pick up after ourselves. We were not to be a hindrance to the plans that others had laid out. We were to always remember we were a guest in someone else’s home.
These things seem so simple, but it is easy to look around and see so many of these principals are not being taught anymore.
I had a lady tell me that school is where children learn the mechanics for life; That is where they find their fit and where they gain an understanding of who they are. My mind was racing with responses, that went something like, “Now I can rest easy. I am so glad we have given up our rights as parents and handed it to the schools. The evidence is overwhelming as to what a great job they are doing.” I verbalized the parts that seemed to fit.
Teachers are a gift from God, and I am so very thankful for the teachers in our schools that teach right thinking into the minds of our children. I had many teachers like this growing up. I consider them jewels in my life and would not trade any of my precious school days. They were valuable and taught me so much.
At the same token, it is not the school’s job to teach our children who they are. That starts in the home. It is our job as parents to make sure we are placing in our children right morals and values that line up with God’s Word. That is the only truth that leaves their feet on a firm foundation. All else will be sinking sand.
When Eva was about a year and a half, she would try to bite her little friends. Of course, all children do this. They are learning boundaries and how to defend their own territory. When her teacher approached me about the problem, I was embarrassed that my perfect child would do something like this! I quickly told her teacher that Chuck and I would handle this.
She gently put her hand on my arm and in conversation said, “Taking Eva home and correcting something that she doesn’t even remember doing will not fix the problem. You will have to be intentional and correct her in the act. Then pray for her so she can hear you. The God inside of her is not small. He knows how to lead her.” What a concept to this Christian mother who did not even think of that!
I began to take time showing Eva how to share. It is hard when there are no other siblings in the house, so I used opportunities where I was involved. Then, on the way to her preschool each morning, I would pray out loud that the Lord would help her to be kind and learn to share with her friends.
Would you believe it worked. Not that we never had another incident of her not sharing, but the biting stopped, and her ability to share only improved.
Eva is a direct reflection of her father and me everywhere she goes. Even at four years old, people are catching a glimpse into our home through the actions of our child.
Fredrick Douglass said, “It is easier to build strong children than it is to repair broken men.”
What we speak over our children is so powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue and those that love it will eat its fruit.”
I wrote this prayer that I pray over Eva and I am believing to see good fruit from it as she grows…
“Father, I pray that you would help Chuck and I be the kind of parents that Eva can be proud of. Help us to teach her who she is in You. Her worth is not found in people, places or things, but in Christ alone. Help me, as Mommy, to be graceful under pressure. I pray you would help Eva as she goes through this day to be kind and caring that she would share with her friends and be helpful where she is needed. Lord, she may be young, but You are not. I pray she would hear Your voice and never follow another; Teach her to fear You. Give her Godly friends and a teachable spirit; Surround her with Your favor. Give Your angels charge over her and keep your hand of protection upon her as she lives out her life fully pleasing You in the talents you have placed upon her. And Lord, above all, let her remember who she is to You. – Amen ”
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“I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalms 139:14
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