The Big Rocks

Eva measures everything according to how many “night nights” it will take until the main event; if life was measured in “night nights,” what an uncomplicated world it would be. She told the doctor her cousins came to visit for her birthday, and they stayed for two “night nights!” The doctor placed her hand over her chest and said, “Oh, the innocence of a child.”

Yet life gets complicated when you’re trying to referee between kids, a leaky sink, supper in several stages of development, and, let’s NOT forget, the dog bowls that require food daily.

Some days feel like a count down until your husband walks through the door so you can hand him the dishtowel, the phone, and the children.

Balance can seem impossible to grasp yet desperately needed. Simplicity is a far-fetched fantasy that only appears in fleeting moments. And yet, as parents, we are searching for this for our children. We desperately want to offer them a piece of the simple life stored away in “night nights.” If only we could reach some form of innocence in this complicated world.

Well, we can. But it requires sacrifice on our part. A discipline that will require us to give of ourselves so our children can take away the right results for a balanced life.

As young girls, Mom and Dad taught us about the BIG ROCKS. Only, we didn’t know they would be memorial stones to look back upon when we had children of our own. When Eva was born, my dad looked at Chuck and me and said, “Put the BIG rocks in first. You have eighteen years to do it. Let everything else fall where it may.”

Faith, Family, and the Fundamentals of successful living; are the BIG rocks that our children desperately need. They show up in practical ways, but much to our amazement, they get crowded out by the small pebbles of lesser value.

Our children are learning from us whether we like it or not. They need to see that the priorities we set are guidelines for their freedom. “Without priorities, we become responders to the world’s demands rather than determiners of our lives.” Susan Yates

I cannot remember every sermon ever preached on Sunday morning any more than I can remember every meal my mother has cooked and prepared for us growing up. Still, I can tell you this; I am stronger, healthier, and wiser because of what has been deposited into me over the years. Faith cannot be something we just talk about, but it must be something that we live out in front of our children. Going to church was never an option when I was young, and because of that training, church attendance is not an option now. Eva and Charlotte will make their own decisions one day, but for now, Sundays will start by gracing the seats of our church.

Time spent with our families must be of the utmost importance on our priorities list. Family night, family outings and family meals were strictly observed in our home. “The best memories will be those that were a part of the household rhythm.” – Jon Quitt

Teaching our children the fundamentals of a well-rounded life starts with getting up and making the bed each morning, whether you “feel like it” or not. Showing up to your responsibilities on time, handling money like it will rain tomorrow (because it is), and keeping your word, even to your hurt, are essential keys to success that will unlock any door of opportunity.

The BIG rocks must be deposited daily if they will become the boulders of our children’s critical thinking when the rubber meets the road. In the mundane activities of life, we watch our integrity, or the lack thereof, develop in our children.

Typically, it is my five-year-old that shows me where I’m lacking. Eva will not let me pass by one piece of litter (glitter-as she says) on the ground. It must be picked up and put in the trash can. “Hate,” “Stupid,” and “Butt” are potty-mouth words and are quickly corrected by her. She didn’t learn this on her own. It took the faithfulness and, yes, even faults on the parenting end to show her how to find the BIG rocks.

My folks were not perfect by any means, but they did the best they could to ensure restraint kept its way in our lives, and complications were at a minimum. They found the BIG ROCKS by building their life upon the Bible. God created us and knew exactly how to make our families function in the highest sense. His way of doing things brings order and balance into our chaotic mess.

Despite what we all portray, life has messy dishes, but God shows us how to make time for the most important things and put aside those things that are not. And for those things that cannot be set aside, God shows us how to structure them. Everyone gets the same number of hours in the day. How we use them is left up to us. That is where the balance shows up.

“For the structure that we raise, Time is with materials filled; our today’s and yesterday’s are the blocks with which we build.”

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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“Everyone who hears these words of mine is like a wise man who built his house upon a rock…” Matthew 7:24