“Sis, did you tie a red ribbon on it?” It seems like yesterday I was hearing these words…
When I was growing up no matter how small the project was, we were required to do it well. My sister and I were not allowed to just make our beds; it had to be done correctly. Granted this came with age, but nonetheless, we still had to attempt. At first, when we were small, our beds looked more like a jumbled mess, but as we grew neatness grew also.
My parents believed that halfway doing something was just like not doing it at all. Halfway completing a task always cost us in the long run because we had to come back and do it again. My sister spent a lot of time on the “do it again” part (a little friendly jab there, Brit). Even if neat and tidy didn’t come naturally, my parents saw to it that we both kept clean rooms; nature notwithstanding.
All children are different and each one excels in different areas. It is our job as parents to navigate them through their strengths and their weaknesses. But in our home strengths and weaknesses have nothing to do with using a broom. Chuck and I keep it very simple. As long as our children live in our home, they will help.
I heard a quote that I have shared before but it bears repeating, “If you want to go fast go alone if you want to go far go together” Erwin McManus. I think of this every time Eva wants to help me clean bathrooms. I could be done in half the time it takes when cleaning with her. But I would arrive at the finish line alone. The whole point of this race is to take my family with me. I can’t do that unless I take the time to teach her how to scrub out the tub and then wait patiently while she does it (my eyes get wider and wider while I wait). Watching her eyes beam with excitement as she gets to place a sticker on her chore chart makes the wait worthwhile. Especially when she gets to purchase a long-awaited toy as a reward for a completed chore chart.
Excellence is woven into the fine threading of the red ribbon. While our girls are small, Chuck and I will teach them how to do tasks with excellence, as my parents did for my sister and me; halfway does not count. Repeating this concept can be wearisome but glimmers of hope shine through as they grow. Learning what makes a home functional and what makes it dysfunctional should start within the walls of my own home. Without this teaching, we will default to chaos. As my mother so delicately put it while we were growing up, “This is my house and I will not live in a pigsty.”
The other day we had quite a morning. The night was a long one and sunrise came before I was ready. I had just finished giving Charlotte a bottle and was toting her around while I started the laundry and made breakfast. All of a sudden Charlotte looks up at me with her tender brown eyes. I just smiled at her. She then unleashed an entire bottle of milk all over me and her rocker that sat in the kitchen. It was as if life stalled for a brief intermission. I could hear the drips coming off the rocking chair and landing in the pool of liquid that was laying on the kitchen floor. My clothes were wringing wet with lukewarm milk. The smell invaded my nasal passages while I slowly turned and found the nearest towel to pat my face and chest. I then continued walking to Charlotte’s room to begin a full wash down and change once again. Somewhere Eva got lost in the shuffle and I did not notice her disappear into the kitchen; which is not typical for her because she usually loves to help me do all the things related to Charlotte. But I kept going not giving it much thought. When I had finished, I walked by the kitchen and found her. She had filled a bucket of water and was on her hands and knees with a rag cleaning up the floor and rocking chair. She was scrubbing so I didn’t have to.
Some occurrences stand out to us as parents that we never forget. In the movie, While You Were Sleeping, Lucy and Peter are talking about heroic acts. Lucy reminds Peter that he gives up his seat every day on the Subway. Peter tells her that giving up a seat is not heroic. Lucy quickly rebuttals with, “It is to the person who sits in it.”
Soaked in a milky substance, I watched as Eva helped me that day. It was as if she gave up her seat so I could sit down, even if just for a second. No one sounded an alarm for accolades. No one gave out awards. No one cheered or shouted her name; she wouldn’t have wanted that anyway. Eva simply saw a need and stepped in to help me. You might say she tied a red ribbon on it. One day I will remind her of this cherished memory of mine, but not now. For now, I will just continue to teach her how to tie red ribbons.
Welcome Home
“Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all of your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10
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