I Have An Appointment

“He was up before the dawn with his Bible opened up. Seeking truth with every single page he turned. Anyone could see my daddy lived what he believed. With a gentle heart and passion for Jesus’s blood…” -Brian Free and Assurance

Nothing describes my father better. As my sister and I would wake, to ready ourselves for school, we would catch a glimpse of Dad. He would be sitting in his chair or standing, with a cup of coffee in his hand, gazing out the window, and there it would be, his Bible, lying on the table. This was not on occasion. He had an appointment every morning. My mother was the same. Only, back then, she liked to spend time reading after we had gone to bed. It was commonplace, in our home, to find open Bibles lying around with pages of notes laid out beside it. Everyone had a Bible, and we all spent time reading it.

When I grew up, and headed out on my own, I slowly began to read less and less. Unraveling typically does not happen quickly, it’s a slow fade. It wasn’t long before I noticed I wasn’t getting very far hanging on the shirttails of my parent’s relationship with God. Religion can be passed down, a relationship cannot. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that life has a way of demoralizing our convictions without a personal relationship with God. I knew if I was going to succeed, it was going to have to be personal. I had seen it modeled before me my entire life but until I applied it, nothing would change. The Bible is the most powerful book in the world. It is full of freeing truths that can change any situation, but I realized, unopened and collecting dust, it only made a nice ornament ordaining my bookshelf. It was powerless to stop the hell that screamed wide open in my life. However, somehow, I managed to convince myself that I was just fine. Jesus himself found time to slip away and commune with God. Yet, I didn’t see the need? I am too inexperienced to handle life without guidance. God’s word became my guide; my compass.

Thankfully, those days seem like a lifetime ago. I remember when Chuck and I first got married. I started to devour the Word and any Christian materials I could get my hands on. I was so hungry for change in my life that I was desperate to do what I should have been doing all along. It was contagious. Chuck followed suit as well. I had found a relationship with God, just like my parents had and I loved it. He was real. It didn’t mean instant perfection, on the contrary, but I had found where to go to fix the mess I called my life. It was in the secret place.

Psalms 91 is one of my favorite passages of scripture. It starts off by saying, “He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty…” I found out that it was in the secret place where I am made whole and learn who I am in Christ. It’s in the secret place where I am kept and guarded. It’s in the secret place where my marriage is healed, and order comes into my home. It’s in the secret place where my patience is refreshed and my strength is renewed. It’s in the secret place where fear has to flee and peace is still. It’s in the secret place where His word lights my path. It’s in the secret place where direction is gained for long-term plans. It’s in the secret place where success and prosperity for daily living are learned. It’s in the secret place where I am corrected and instructed. But it’s when I leave the secret place, that application must take place. I now face the many challenges of life, head-on, because I know WHO goes before me and WHO calms the storm. I know the Lion of Judah patrols the perimeter of my life and with that knowledge, I walk on in confidence! He is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother and a Father that cares for His children.

I was unwilling to negotiate my time in the secret place but unsure how I was going to manage it once Eva arrived. However, I was determined. I knew I was embarking on new territory, and a screaming baby would wait for no one. I asked the Lord to help me and show me the way. Upon her arrival, I continued with my same routine. I have always been an early riser, and apparently, Eva was too. I am convinced she could hear me breathe. I tried everything so as not to make noise during those early morning hours. I went to some extreme measures! But nothing seemed to work. Until one day, I heard these words in my heart, “Let her catch you with your Bible opened up.” I jumped up and went and scooped her up! In one arm, I held Eva and in the other, my Bible. With a few minor adjustments, she has learned that I have an appointment first thing each morning. Interrupted as it may be at times, a husband and children will do that.

I remember one morning I had just gotten settled down with my tea. Eva woke up and needed much attention. She was crying incessantly. Chuck was leaving early for work , making all kinds of noise, including blowing his nose right where I was at! I stopped what I was doing, took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling as if looking straight into Heaven. I gave a little wink and said, “I will be back tomorrow, the same place at the same time.” I like to think He just smiled and said… “Thanks for showing up.”

May my meditation be sweet to Him; I will be glad in the Lord. Psalms 104:34

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