Storm Clouds

Camper living, which was supposed to last only for a month, was taking longer than anyone could have anticipated. There is a reason it is called a camper; it is for camping; not permanent living.

My mother became like a running coach to me; reminding me to breath and keep a steady pace.

My heart was heavy and disappointment clouded my view. We had spent three months jumping through transition hurdles only to find ourselves right where we started; nowhere.

I was learning to trust God on a bigger scale than my faith had ever been tested. I could hear the question constantly in my mind, “Will you trust me even when you can’t trace me?”

We had carried a road map with us into new terrain and yet we were left having to choose a direction neither of us particularly wanted, but we decided that stability was more important than waiting on answers that might never come. Responsibility had spoken and we shelfed the idea of small town living and decided to make home exactly where we were.

I am more of a dreamer than Chuck is. He is a realist. He looks at the facts and makes a decision based on the information given. Without him, I would probably make emotional decisions, even to my own hurt. He has taught me life will take us places that we did not pack for. There will be crossroads where important decisions have to be made. He has taught me to make those decisions and never look back.

Chuck could not see the specifics of the storm on the horizon but the one thing he could see was a storm building. That is not a pessimistic view point; it is reality. Life is like weather cycles; there will be sunshine and there will be rain. However, rain is hardly noticeable to the one who packs an umbrella. 

When sitting at the crossroads of a big decision we had to make, I was reminded of something my dad had always told me growing up, “When you feel God is silent, go back to the last word you heard him speak to your heart and wait. Don’t get in a hurry.” Life may be uncomfortable and the road a bit bumpy but God will bring the direction.

With our decision made to begin house hunting locally, we headed out to view a possible place for us. On our way, confirmation came through for the new job. We were asked to sit through Christmas and make the move at the beginning of the new year.

Sitting at that crossroad, desperate for direction, God did not fail us. He is always right on time. We returned to the camper with renewed hope, knowing the new year was going to bring a brighter tomorrow.

There was a poem I read during this time in our lives that encouraged me and reminded me who calmed the storm in my life. Little did I know how much I was going to cling to these words in the new year…

The Storm

“When the wind is blowing and there is spray on my face

When my boat is rocking and my world is displaced

That’s when the one who is asleep in the stern

Teaches me the lessons that are so hard to learn

It’s only in storms that we learn how to trust

And to walk in the faith He has been building in us

So why can’t we simply take the test that’s at hand

Respond like a soldier who is following commands

The water that splashes from the waves to my face

Removes all the dust till there’s not even a trace

Of the toil and labor I was walking in

Before the rain started with its waves and its wind

Then I remember he is my refuge and my fortress

The storm I am in is just my metamorphosis

When He does not calm the storm or walk on the sea

He still calms the storm that’s raging in me”

                                                                                                Jim Stockdale

Welcome Home

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” Hebrews 11:8

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