A mother’s hug lasts long after she lets go.
Author Unknown
I write about my mother as if you know her personally; you may feel like you do by now. She is forever in my head when raising my girls or planting flowers. Then I realized I had never offered my readers a chance to hear from her.
Grab a glass of iced tea, find a spot outside and enjoy reading the thoughts of my mother. If you put them into practice, I promise it will change your life.
So without further ado, here she is, folks, from “Mother’s Biscuits” to “A Tablecloth and Pork n Beans,” one of my very best friends and the reason I stand tall today- my mother, Pam Stockdale.
Hello there, I’m Pam, Kristen’s Mother. I am the one she often writes about with stories
that have me scratching my head. Especially those that she credits to me as having caused growth and common sense in our daughters’ lives.
There’s no manual sent along with a child at birth. They simply come kicking and screaming and don’t stop for about eighteen years.
Being a mother isn’t the most straightforward undertaking, but more often than not – rewarding.
While many of my parenting skills came from watching our parents, my favorite technique was “Hope and Pray.” You get it, I’m sure. What worked for disciplinary action for Kristen did nothing for our youngest daughter Brittney. They are total opposites.
Growing up in the home of preachers (sometimes referred to as living in a glass house) could not have been easy for our girls. Not only are the eyes of the church members on you, but also those in the community. And those eyes come with inquiring minds and opinions. Not all are nice.
So for the first few years, I tried frilly dresses, ribbons, and bows. Yes, that’s it; that’s what everyone will see and call me a good mother. Nope, it didn’t work. Teach them Bible verses and say your prayers; that’ll do it. Perfect! The teenage years appear with glasses, braces, and peer pressure. It somehow doesn’t mesh with learning the books of the Bible. Or does it?
We ride out each day, navigating the roads of life using a GPS that spends most of its time re-calculating the course. How we think a day, week or month should go isn’t even close to where we end up.
Many people say Kristen is my look alike. We have several of the same mannerism and habits. As a teenager, she loved to argue; we often said she should have been a lawyer. However, for her, a writer is better, and she still gets to argue her point. Plus, she’s real good at it — writing.
Brittney was quiet and still is, yet in her way has no trouble getting her point across when needed. It’s those quiet ones you have to look out for. They sit silently, gathering information that could be used against you.
In our home, during those child-rearing years, there were many absolutes. You spend those times teaching life lessons that you hope one day will be second nature to them. Teachings a person does with no thought.
Going to church, for instance, was not an option. Your feelings were not allowed to rule on this subject. You’ve heard people say, “Well, my child just doesn’t feel like going to church.” If you lived in our home, you attended church. With or without your feelings.
Doing chores, that’s right — as part of the family, everyone gets to participate in the hands-on activity of daily life. Our girls used to stand on a chair at the kitchen sink when they were four or five and wash dishes. We give a big shout-out to the inventor of shatterproof dishes.
When the girls were very young, I noticed something; they understood my language . They got it. I could say, “Sissy girl, go get Mama a diaper for Britty,” and she would go get it. She was only one and a half at the time. Amazing! We had a genius! I’m being funny, but my point is this, start young. Children are eager to help if you’ll let them.
The family came first in our home. Others will consume your time if you permit them, either by words or action.
As a young preacher’s wife, I told my husband once, “Don’t win the world and lose me.”
I reiterated this statement after Kristen and Brittney were born. Family first became absolute. Respect for God, Family, Elders, Church, and Country. What we teach our children along life’s road is paramount. We are going to miss the mark on several levels, no doubt. However, I’m convinced if you put the big rocks in first, you’ll have room for the sand and water later. (Read Kristen’s earlier blog entitled “The Big Rocks” to understand that statement better. Click here to read.)
Today, I have two of the loveliest, most together daughters a mother could want. I’m still scratching my head about how that happened. But, what I’ve realized is this, it wasn’t just me. It was a combination of fundamental Bible truths and common sense. It was making the right choices when I wanted to do something else. It was taking them to church when they wanted to stay home. It was getting up every morning with an attitude of responsibility.
A responsibility that spoke to me each day, saying, “Get up, take charge; you wanted these children now do what’s right by them.”
Oh, the blissfulness of being a Mother. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I hope you have a wonderful week. Plus, I hope your Mother’s Day is surrounded by the children you love.
Be Encouraged,
Pam
I hope you enjoyed hearing from my mother today. I hear from her daily. Even when she says, “I can’t talk right now.” I assume that does not apply to me and talk anyway. We will do well to listen to our mothers. Spread your wings, yes! But let your mother be part of watching you soar.
Welcome Home
“She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:27-28
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