Over the years, my father and I have developed a secret code that we say to one another when a decision has to be made that alters the course of life events. Without giving the code away, we will say, “Ask me if I have any regrets?”
If the truth were told, we probably all have a long list of regrets; mistakes that we hope our children will not find out about or make themselves. Even if our choices were not necessarily bad, just sub-par, we still want better for our kids.
I heard a speaker, who was teaching on raising children, say, “It is not in telling your children everything that you did that will keep them from repeating the same. There is no glory in highlighting all our mistakes to our children. It is in teaching and showing them a better way.”
Just telling our kids “NO” will not stop them from making their own choices one day, but taking advantage of practical examples will help to reinforce the perimeters that we set as parents. For instance, if Uncle John is intoxicated at the family reunion, this is a prime, real-life moment we need to capitalize on (when a child is at the appropriate age). Pointing out the misuse of alcohol will confirm to them what has been taught within the home.
I remember being out in public with Eva a while back and a young boy about four years old was acting out. He had been told “NO” over a toy that he wanted. Instead of the parents handling his outburst and temper tantrum, they chose to ignore it until they exploded, acting much like the four-year-old themselves. Eva, witnessing the entire escapade, turned to me wide-eyed and whispered, “Mommy, we aren’t supposed to act like that. He needs a spanking!” I told her she was exactly right, and I added sarcastically, “The parents need a spanking too for their approach to the matter.” I was very proud of her ability to recognize misbehavior and the consequences thereof.
I too have made wrong decisions and discovered them by watching others. I watched how their choices began to unravel their lives and take them down a road I did not wish to follow. It didn’t take me long to course correct and head in a different direction.
Do I have any regrets? Absolutely, more than I wish to recount, but instead of living in those regrets, I learned, through the application of God’s Word, how to build my life. There had to be a shift from wrong thinking to right living; a place where I took responsibility for my own choices. Further, when I look at all the tangible blessings that encompass my life, those things that I can see, touch, and feel, it catches my breath. To know that God would take all my mistakes and still choose to show me mercy is more than our finite minds can comprehend. It makes all else pale in comparison.
Now, older and a little wiser (aww, yes), I find myself sitting on the porch watching Eva chase lighting bugs in her bare feet, with Samson close on her heels. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a raccoon hanging upside down shaking birdseed out of my feeder (the little sneak). Not too far off, I can see my husband slide down the shop door after a long day of outside work. Then, as the day fades and dusk creeps in, I can hear the crickets begin to serenade us with their long whimsical tones; Maximus still lying beside me; It all looks like the typical American dream. It was in this perfection that I decided when I get to Heaven one day, and I get a little time with Lord, just He and I, I am going to lean in and with a smile on my face and a wink in my eye, I am going to whisper, “Lord, ask me if I have any regrets.”
Welcome Home
“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation; old things are past away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
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