“Use all of your resources, Sis. That is the first rule of cockpit management when learning to fly. People will want to help you. Let them.” Little did I know how much this advice would affect me when Chuck had to leave the country for three and a half weeks.
“It shouldn’t be a problem,” I told Chuck. I know how to run this house and take care of the kids. I can manage the home front while you are away.” Famous last words.
“If it can go wrong, you can mark it down. It will go wrong while the man is away,” my dad comically added during our conversation.
No warning could have prepared me for what I would encounter daily while Chuck was gone.
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Staring at a puddle of water under the kitchen sink, I thought that if I shut the cabinet, it would go away. Eva yells from her bedroom about that time, “My toilet is leaking, Mom. Water pours out the side every time I step near my toilet!” Hearing Charlotte call for mommy and Tyson starting to cry, I could feel the pressure mounting. Reaching over to steady the dryer from its overwhelmingly loud rattle, I could not see how a few weeks could move any slower.
From fevers to around-the-clock meds, late-night feedings, and early-hour check-ins with Chuck. Long days and not enough hands to handle a screaming infant, carrots on the stove, and two sets of curls that needed washing. I was beginning to lose heart. My eyes were heavy, and my best friend was out of reach.
By the time Lola, our female German Shepherd, got a hold of one of our bunnies – for the second time, I dug the grave large enough for two, thinking- two more weeks of this. That second bunny ain’t never gonna make it.
The logistics of getting three kids and myself ready to leave the house called for paramount forethought and strategy. Eva became my right hand, and discipline was on my left.
When I pick the kids up, sometimes I just drive around until I know my husband is at home
Anonymous
I found myself lost in the weariness. I was missing God’s thumbprint on the circumstances, like a friend who stayed the night when fevers were high. Or headlights late one evening to help me clean up charred carrots, pots, and pans while we teamed up to calm three children who were missing their daddy. I couldn’t see God’s smile over a Sunday lunch so I wouldn’t be alone or grocery delivery from a friend when I couldn’t get to the store. Frustration had me blinded to the light at the end of the tunnel when my mother showed up with arms wide open.
Towards the end, my folks called to ask how I was making it. Remembering the cockpit management advice, I responded, “The calls have been steady with people checking on me and wanting to help somehow. Chuck hasn’t left my side, even halfway around the world. My trusty German Shepherd, Maximus, hasn’t left the stoop, where he knows I enter and exit; I think he knows I need looking after. I still have backroads to drive and an offering plate to pass on Sunday morning. People have toted my belongings and aided in strapping in kids. Friends have stopped by to help me run a vacuum or put up a load of clothes. Others have brought supper, so I wouldn’t have to clean the kitchen much. I was looking for ease, but God showed up in the work.” Chuck had his assignment. The home front was my job.
I saw headlights shadowing the fence outside. I looked out the window, anticipation building. The headlights slowed and turned up the drive. My heart raced faster than my feet could carry me out the back door. I exited the house quietly, and met him in the driveway. I wanted a moment all to myself.
The colorful Welcome Home sign hanging up in the kitchen didn’t tell each day’s story, but it said all he needed to know.
And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 1 Corinthians 12:21A
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