My sister, Brittney, and her husband, Kyle, readied the house, the kids, and themselves for a date night out. Much needed time away-just the two of them for dinner. When they had finished their meal and were getting back into their car, heading for home, Brittney slammed the door and said, “Thank the Lord that’s over! I do not have to do that again for another week!”
My sister had me in stitches as she retold the evening to me. She said, “I love the time together, but the preparations to arrive at “time together” are exhausting!“
We have some lifelong family friends who were recently on my parent’s podcast. When asked how they have kept their marriage together through all the years, she replied, “No back door.”
I couldn’t help but think of these words as we recently went on our family vacation. Before Chuck and I had kids, I used to judge couples that would take their children on Anniversary trips or mile-marker adventures as husband and wife.
We need time alone with our spouse; this is definite. You will find yourself on the side of the road without gas if no fuel is continually added. To this, I preach to the fullest.
However, by the same token, after having two little ones of my own, I realized how hard it could be to get away by yourselves during their young years. It is not very practical. Besides some big vacations, you don’t want them to miss!
For our 10th wedding anniversary, we decided Hawaii would be our celebration destination- until we arrived at ten years and had a six-year-old and one-year-old. We have postponed Hawaii for a few years.
What used to thrill us didn’t have the same take once it arrived. That’s not to say one day we will not enjoy Hawaii (both of us want to see it). But it seemed only fitting to let our girls share in our celebration of ten years. Besides, they are a part of this mile marker.
Mountains and waterslides suited us for this getaway adventure!
“Come on, gang!” I yelled as I got in. Everyone was loaded in the truck and ready for the vacation. We were packed to the brim. There wasn’t any room left for another item. Chuck doesn’t even question it anymore. He lets me pack all the things we don’t need in case we need them.
I was the last to get in the truck. I jumped in, saying, “Perfect! It is three hours over there, and we gain an hour. We will be there by 11 AM!” Chuck looked at me with his usual poker face and said, “It’s four hours over there, and we lose an hour. We will be there by 2 PM. Sit back and ride.” My face fell as the girls immediately began with the “needs.”
It was Saturday morning, and we were having a great time, in full swing of vacation mode. Fun was the schedule for every waking moment. We had made a quick morning shopping trip and had just arrived back at the hotel so we could hit the waterslides. I suggested we empty the collected trash from the doors and floorboard while we unloaded the morning activities.
Chuck handed me a plastic bag, and while I was managing the garbage, grabbing shopping bags, and getting Charlotte out of her car seat, Chuck was getting Eva out and collecting the groceries out of the back.
During my cleaning, I picked up the key fob and deposited it into the trash bag without noticing. On the way inside, I threw the bag into the lobby trash can in blissful ignorant delight.
Later the same day, 3 PM to be exact, Chuck needed something from the truck, but he couldn’t find the key. After several minutes of looking with no product, I realized what might have happened. I sheepishly turned around and confessed to Chuck. Given the circumstances- no spare key, out of town, and no locksmith available until Monday, he seemed to handle it well.
If you have never experienced going downstairs to the hotel lobby and asking if you might speak to maintenance because you need to go through the trash cans to locate your key, I can sum it up in one word. Humiliating.
I patiently waited by the counter for maintenance to come to my rescue while watching the hotel manager trying to control her laughter. From a distance, I could see my salvation. A man dressed in full reflective gear came walking in my direction, eager to help me. He walked as if this was the most important mission he had received via radio transmission in weeks.
I told him what I thought had happened. He listened intently as if he was the hotel detective hot on a case. When I finished, he nodded slightly and then declared, “About an hour and a half ago, I took the two trash cans from the hotel lobby and put them through the trash compressor. If the key fob was in there, it’s of no use now.” I replied with a defeated undertone, “Thank you.“
Thankfully we were staying at a hotel loaded with fun things for kids! The days passed, full of waterslides, rope obstacle courses, miniature golf, rock-wall climbing, and scenic mountain travels. We played until Charlotte could play no longer. At lunch one day, we looked over, and Charlotte was nodding off, yet still, trying to put blueberries in her mouth. We were quietly snickering; I quickly picked her up and put her down for a nap.
The rest of us sat around the table eating our chicken tenders and hotdogs in a dimly lit room in hushed voices. I leaned over to Chuck and sarcastically whispered, “Happy Anniversary, Babe.”
I can’t imagine spending our anniversary without the girls. They are our every smile. My wrinkles make my skin even sweeter as I endlessly vacuum graham crackers and gummies out of the back seat of the Big Rig. After ten years, Chuck still makes my heart skip a beat when I look up and find him in my view. And he has learned to always keep a spare key for his wife.
Our vacation brought much of what life has these ten years. I thought it all would come off without a hitch, but there has been some rain along the way; sunshine too. Miracles abound, and monumental moments stand out. Extraordinary has glittered like shooting stars, but it has been the ordinary days that have shaped us the most, that have gotten us to our ten years. Our marriage has never contained a back door, and with the Lord’s ever-present help and guidance, one day, I hope someone will ask me- “How did you get this far in your marriage?” I will answer proudly, “No Back Door.”
“Again, if two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:11-12
