“Why can’t we eat out?!” My mother argued as the checkbook slid across the desk into her hands.” My father had had enough. Sternly, he said, “Here, you are responsible for the family checkbook. You shoulder the burden of what we can and cannot do.”
Mother looked white-faced. Her naivety and inexperience with a budget left her confused about why there was no money. She had never been in charge of the cash flow before. Even as a girl, her daddy set up limited charge accounts and would take care of the bill at the department stores. Sharing an apartment with her sister as a young adult, her sister handled all the financial decisions. Mother simply handed over what was required each month.
Now the burden rested upon her shoulders. She didn’t even know how to keep up with the columns, much less the money! Dad gently looked at her from across the desk and said, “I want you to understand why we can’t spend money all the time. The easiest way to show you is to teach you how to run the household budget.”
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Mom announced, “I became tight-fisted almost immediately.” She can remember taking us to the grocery store, and the “can I have’s” would start. Brittney would hold up a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and beg for just one box, “Please, please, Mommy!” The answer was always the same – NO. The cost of one box of cereal equaled mom’s hourly wages at the time. And with her new responsibility as chief financial officer, every penny counted. She would leave the store discouraged, promising herself one day she would be able to buy Cinnamon Toast Crunch for us girls.
Grandmother Shirley, my grandmother by heart, was a giver. She taught my mother and her siblings how to give unselfishly. I can still see her tell my mother as Brittney and I played with her crystal goblets, “Oh, let them play; if it breaks, it breaks. They are having fun pretending. That’s more important.” My Grandaddy was the same. However, it wasn’t as open. When my mother was young, he would fill his car up on Friday night so his daughters and their friends could cruise Grand Boulevard. Secretly, he enjoyed purchasing bicycles for kids who did not own one and delivering it to them. What a joy that must have been to see their face light up.
Mother comes by her giving honestly, but those early years of learning to say NO proved not to be her undoing but her beginning. She learned self-control and a balanced budget.
She went on to tell me how she would spend or charge without giving much thought to the consequences. Dad was not innocent in the credit card deception, but he was not a spendthrift either. He understood money. Twice my mother ran up a credit card bill that made my father panic. What were they going to do now?! Miraculously extra money came in to cover the balance; both times. Yet, the lesson was not learned.
The new credit card bill came in the mail, and mom stayed up late one night looking it over. She turned the paper over for the first time and read the fine print explaining how long it would take them to pay off the debt- thirty years. She froze. “Credit card companies were building skyscrapers, and we were trying to get out of hut,” Mom said. She ran to the bedroom, waking my father with tears running down her face. She showed him the bill. He lovingly looked at her and said, “That’s what I have been trying to tell you all along.”
Alone she prayed, “God, if you will help us pay this debt, we will never do it again.” It took them over a year to pay off the debt. No miraculous money came in this time. It was by the sweat of their brow that every cent was paid. God is merciful, but if we refuse to learn, He will help us- the hard way.
Today, my sister and I have playrooms full of toys for our children and several selections of cereal line our pantry. Cereal is not something I even think about; I just buy it. I told my mother I didn’t know if the toys were a blessing or excessive. She said, “Kristen. You walk by that playroom, and thank God your kids have so many wonderful toys to play with. It’s a blessing. You and your sister are the fruits of our perseverance. Enjoy it.”
An excellent teacher, Lolly Madison, was instrumental in my parent’s early years as preaching evangelists and pastors. She told them, “God is extravagant, but He is never wasteful.” It took them some time to learn this lesson. I believe, by the looks of most Americans, they are not alone – including myself. But the difference between most Americans and my parents is they are now comfortable, established, and lucrative because of their choices. It wasn’t one choice that made the difference; many stacked over the years created a healthy budget.
Her story pricked my heart as she shared it with me. I sat crying, unable to speak, thinking about all the times I have made wasteful decisions that should have been more calculated. One thing is for sure; we will never change what we tolerate. We all have a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch we long to purchase. Start filling the holes so you can. Let’s arrive at the end of this year to see the extravagant blessings of God poured out over our lives. I can tell you from experience that the first bite is pure sugar, and the crunch was worth the wait.
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