Date Night

We all had our popcorn and coke in hand as we headed in for the show. Our hometown of Pierre had a small movie theatre that everyone frequented. It was so much fun to go see the latest movie that was playing. As we walked into the theatre to find our seats, I turned to my dad and asked if I could sit in the middle of Mom and him? His response made such an impact on me. He said, “No Sis, you cannot sit between us. One day you will grow up and have a life all your own and I do not want to have to get to know my wife all over again.” All those growing up years, we were never allowed to sit between Mom and Dad. Now, sitting beside them was, of course, acceptable but never between them.

My folks have a rather unique love story. They met and married in three weeks! My father was a young evangelist at the time, preaching and holding revivals at different churches each week. One week he was holding a revival at my mother’s church. Dad tells the story that she walked in, wearing a black dress suit and her long red hair cascaded down her back. He was smitten. Mom says, she found her Prince Charming. They spent the week inseparable. He asked her to marry him on Wednesday of that week and he left on Saturday to go preach a revival in another town. When he returned the following week, they decided not to plan a long engagement but, instead, to elope! They left and went to his folks in Tennessee and were married by my Great Grandfather, in my Grandpa and Grandma’s living room. How’s that for romance?!

When my folks tell their story people often ask how such a quick love story could produce such a wonderful marriage? Without fail, they explain one factor is a date night. Pastor Tim Brooks of Christian Ministries Church, teaches an analogy comparing marriage to a car. Quality time is to a marriage like gas is to a car. It’s what makes the car run. The problem isn’t that we think our car doesn’t need gas. We know it does. The problem is in the thought, “I think I can make it.” There is great danger in that kind of thinking. A car that runs out of gas takes a lot more work to fix than one that is filled up on a regular basis. Keeping gas in the tank will keep the warning light from blinking on the dashboard.

For my folks, gas in the tank… I mean, date night was on Friday night and there were some hard fast rules in place: No children allowed, no unpleasant talk, and no interruptions unless it was an absolute emergency. I love small town folks because they are always so predictable. I knew the Buhl’s or the Badger’s would be going with them to Jake’s Steak House or on occasion, to the Outpost for ribs. From there, it was off to the movie theatre to catch the latest show. I can still hear the Brooks and Dunn CD playing as Mom would be getting ready for date night. There would be a thick fog of  hairspray clouding the hallway. It would be so thick you needed a flashlight to see your way through. Dad would be in his pressed jeans, shirt, boots and cowboy hat, patiently, “waiting on a woman.” Not much has changed in almost forty years, not even his Stetson cologne.

They are more in love today than the day they were married.  It did not happen by chance. It was a decision they made many years ago, to be intentional. They taught us girls that we would never drift into a successful marriage. It would take a hundred percent on both sides. To this day, you will find my parents enjoying one another, holding hands, and stealing kisses. They laugh together and sit close to one another. My father still opens the car door for my mother, no matter the weather.

A few years ago, I watched my Grandpa make his way around their vehicle to get my Grandma out of the car. They are both in their eighties, so it took him a little longer than it used to. I just stood there and watched. I couldn’t help but ask him, “After all these years, Grandpa, you still get Grandma’s door?” He looked at me without missing a beat and said, “Sixty-three years! Now, I am not going to say it is the sole thing that has kept us together, but it sure hasn’t hurt any.”

I have taken to heart what my parents lived before me. I know one day Eva’s Prince Charming is coming for her. I do not want to get to know Chuck all over again. What my Grandpa said to me that day is true. Date night may not be the sole thing that will keeps us together, but it sure couldn’t hurt any.

“Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.” Song of Solomon 2:15

It starts with the little things. Marriage is precious. Handle it with care.

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