Someone to Blame

We live in a society today that teaches us someone else is to blame for my shortcomings; it is someone else’s fault as to why I am the way I am.

I really wish this philosophy would have been adopted in the Stockdale household while I was growing up because then the blame would have always laid elsewhere, and I would not have had to own any of my mistakes or my own personal shortcomings. It would have been smooth sailing. I could have avoided all the personal responsibility talks and face to face apologies I had to make.

Unfortunately, my family believed that making excuses or refusing to change in areas that were detrimental to one’s own self-improvement would only bring more hardship and make me unfit in all facets of life.

There is an Andy Griffith episode about a hobo that comes through town and begins convincing Opie he can take the easy way out through life. This hobo never works for anything and constantly takes what is not his. Towards the end, Andy has a conversation with him. In short, the depth of it goes like this…

Hobo: Afternoon, Sheriff!

Andy: Afternoon. I got somethin’ I want to talk to ya about.

Andy: There seems to be a little somethin’ wrong with Opie’s thinkin. It’s gotten a little twisted on him; like being able to tell the difference between right and wrong; not that that’s an easy thing. There are a lot of grown-ups still strugglin’ with that same problem.

Hobo: Well, Sherriff. Maybe I do look at things differently. I’m not above bendin’ the law now and then to put clothes on my back and food in my stomach. Who’s to say your way is the right way? Why not let Opie decide how to look at things?

Andy: No, I’m afraid it don’t work that way. You can’t let a youngin’ decide for himself. He will grab at the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it; then he finds there’s a hook in it, it’s too late. Wrong ideas come packaged with so much glitter; it is hard to convince ‘em that other things might be better in the long run. All a parent can do is say wait, teach them to trust and try to keep temptation away.

Just like Opie, Eva didn’t have to learn how to blame. That came built-in; she does it innately. Even at four years old, when she does something wrong, she looks for a way out, an excuse. Her fingers are always pointing at who else is to blame for the trouble she is about to be in. It is in the fallen nature of man to grab hold of the blame and push it as far away from our own personal responsibility as we can. It is our job as parents to quickly end the fault-finding and deal with the behavior.

In the book of Exodus, when the children of Israel come out of the promise land, Moses is up on the mountain receiving the ten commandments from God, and when he comes down, he finds the people have forgotten their God and created a golden calf to worship instead.  Aaron was held responsible for the people in Moses’s absence. When Moses comes down from the mountain, Aaron actually tells his brother in Exodus 32:24, “I took any gold the people gave to me, and I cast it into the fire and this calf came out.” As if by some mysterious means, a calf just appeared out of the fire. His response shows no accountability for the actions of those he had charge over.

Without teaching our children to accept personal responsibility for one’s own actions, they too will find, by no fault of their own, a golden calf just appears out of the fire. Someone else will be to blame.

I once heard a story about a man who held a governmental seat. He began to explain why he kept his farm, even though he was in politics. He made the statement, “It holds me accountable to personal responsibility.” He said, “I own thousands of acres.” “At twenty below zero, there will be no one to blame but myself if I lose calves because I didn’t get out there and check my cattle.”

Winston Churchill said, “The price for greatness is responsibility.”

There will always be someone to blame, but the great ones will start with themselves. Let’s teach the rising generation to be great.

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The slacker says, “There is a lion in the road! A fierce lion is in the streets!” Proverbs 26:13 (a slothful person will always find an excuse; someone to blame)

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