Anger flooded my eyes and my thoughts. My mother was mean! She was harsh and I didn’t understand why?! All the other girls were painting their nails in mature colors and wearing eye makeup. Their moms let them wear all the new styles. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t budge!
I would show her. When I grew up and got out on my own, I would wear what I wanted- anything I wanted!
Not long ago, I was on the phone with my sister, asking Ben how his day at school was and if he was looking forward to our visit. I told him it would only be three more night-nights, and we were coming. He quickly said, “Aunt Sis, I don’t say night-nights anymore. I am a big kid now.”
And there it was.
The days of Ben publicly using the bathroom in the bushes were over. And if my intuition was correct, Eva wasn’t far behind.
Dropping Eva off for her first day of first grade, she said, “It’s ok, Mommy, you don’t have to come in this time. I am a first grader now. I can do it all by myself.“
I just sat there silent, with a little grin and a far-off look in my eye. It was my turn to feel the tug of holding on and watch her feel the freedom of letting go.
Her days of running through the creek with her clothes somewhere in the dirt disappeared.
“Mommy, watch this!” I had Charlotte on my hip and a shovel in my hand. Eva threw the stick to Samson but did not let go of his collar. He took off for the stick dragging Eva with him. She may have held tight. However, her pants couldn’t hang on to her waist. Laughter echoed through the hills as I watched her pants land around her ankles in seconds flat.
In the playroom that lies directly across from the kitchen (strategically planned), I watched as Eva directed the class of stuffed animals, all neatly arranged in their classroom. Among the students sat Charlotte, waving her hands and squealing with delight to be included.
Eva stood on her stool in her princess dress, book in hand and pointer in the other.
I could hear snippets of the conversation. Eva explained the school assignment and read the book to the class, showing them the pictures. Wiping down the counters, I interrupted their play with, “Girls, don’t grow up too fast, ok?” Charlotte babbled, and Eva said, “Ok, Mommy. I promise.”
A promise she could only keep with guidance.
“But Mom! Why can’t I get these heels? They are so pretty! You wear heels.” Without thinking, I was at eye level with Eva while standing in the shoe department. I quietly yet firmly stated, “There will be some dress shoes that I find appropriate for a little girl and some that I do not. These are too old for you. I don’t want you growing up too fast.”
Over a pair of heels, I understood why my mother wouldn’t let me follow the latest fashion or allow eye makeup early on. She carefully guided our exposure as young girls.
In her defense, she did allow a modest version of the latest fashion. I do not want to leave the impression we wore pioneer dresses and bonnets. We did not. However, she did make sure our shorts were not too short, and our heels were not too high.
Our little girls have their whole lives to wear heels and eye makeup but exposing them before their years are ready leaves them outwardly counteracting a maturity that has not developed yet.
Trying to get supper on the table and make a list for tomorrow, Charlotte happily pushed her shopping cart around the kitchen, giggling with delight while Eva chased her. Both girls were loud and boisterous with their entertainment.
I looked at Chuck, helping me in the chaos, and declared, “7:45, everyone is in bed. I want quiet.” He leaned back on the kitchen cabinets, smiling as he watched Charlotte toddle and Eva laugh at the entertainment.
Then he grabbed me and replied, “But it doesn’t get any better than this.”
I knew he was right.
We did manage to get everyone down early. On my way out of Eva’s room that night, Eva asked me why I didn’t sing to her? I told her that I thought she had already fallen asleep. She begged me to sing before I left. I knew there would be a day when she would not ask for a lullaby, so I turned around and tucked her in one more time and softly sang her to sleep.
I don’t mind that you grow up, girls. I enjoy every minute of it. But if you could, promise me- you won’t grow up too fast.
Welcome Home
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity.” 2 Peter 3:18
Sweet, sweet words Kristen. If I xiuld shrinky dink my 40 something year old guys for just a few moments…
Oh Leah! This gripped my heart! How sweet š Iām holding on!