My Strong Side

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.

Martin Luther

Brit and I raised our eyebrows as the lady in the farm and ranch store kept talking. She had already jumped out from behind the doors to startle one of the kids for a joke; now, she was continuing to tell us about her pet goat that she dressed like a baby. Leaving, I asked my sister, “Are we going to address the sales clerk in the store?” She quickly retorted, “Kristen!” I giggled, “I think she about covered everything I need to know about her.”

Cleaning the kitchen, the girls cleared the table, washed, and set the centerpiece. Charlotte continued to carry entirely too much to the kitchen sink, and Tyson walked around clapping. Chuck pipes up, “I probably do more dishes than anyone in this house.” Stopping in my tracks, I ruffled my feathers. Silence became my weapon of choice, but I was no match for his tight squeeze and playful grin. I went down the list of multitasking that I handle throughout the day, adding the catchphrase, “But you do most of the dishes.”

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Disruptions don’t take long to reside in a home with three children, especially when two of them are under the age of four. Backwashing the pool halfway down by accident and blowing out a tire the following day left a look on Chuck’s face that was long. My heart was downcast. I was unintentionally causing him more of a headache than he needed. He already had two vehicles that repairs required; now, I added a third. The kids all had unexpected doctor’s appointments, and the summer activities were not slowing down. Having too many irons in the fire left me missing important and expensive objectives. I needed to slow down.

Finding a spot on my front porch steps, I began to cry. It was a cool summer evening. The firelights, as Charlotte calls them, were starting to illuminate the grass and the hills. Watching them, I remembered, “Why so downcast, oh my soul, put your hope in God,” Psalms 42:11. My mother added, “It’s one foot in front of the other, just like you’re doing.” In organization and planning, emergencies are often viewed as nothing more than an inconvenience.

Tossing kids, grabbing bath towels, scrubbing dishes, and passing each other in the laundry room. Tag-teaming the yard, leveling the chemicals in the pool, pruning back fruit trees, and listening to the evening serenade of crickets while his head was buried under the truck hood, I stopped Chuck in his tracks, “Thank you for all the dishes you wash.”

Though we travel to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not long ago, I had a decision to make and needed his input. He came and asked me why I had inquired about the situation since I had already made up my mind. My answer was quick. “Because you are my strong side. The one that is level and tells me when I have gone too far. You tell me when I am piling up rocks and not tending to the soil. I need your input in decisions. You show me things I can’t otherwise see, and you calm me down when I see things that are not there.”

What some call boring, I call dependable; what some may think is mediocre, I see it as extraordinary. I don’t need thrills; he’s home every night, tucking in the kids and making them laugh, even handing out discipline when it’s required. He’s up late making sure I have gas in my tank, groceries I may need for the next day, and unclogging the tub drain that’s giving me fits. He’s my strong side when the wide world tries to creep in. I don’t wonder what his convictions are; they run deeply for God and his family.

You will never find a good marriage; you build one. Don’t quit building because you hit rocky soil. Remove the rocks and keep digging. And let him think he does all the dishes; after all, he is the strong side you wouldn’t want to live without.

Greet Priscilla and Aquilla, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me; not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. Romans 16:3-5 (A healthy marriage shines brightly for Jesus)