The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now.
Dieter Uchtdorf
Laura Ingalls Wilder believed the ideal home was built by a man and a woman together. It was constructed one day at a time through hard work and struggle. Hardships seemed to follow her throughout her life, yet she prevailed every time.
I put down my book and pondered how a couple arrives at that kind of love even in the face of adversity?
In the book And Then I Had Kids, Susan Yates explains her desperation to find time with her husband between six children and household responsibilities. To enjoy each other’s company and go over the day’s activities, they set a “Tea Time.” When her husband would come home from work, she would pour them both a cup of steaming steeped tea, and for fifteen minutes, the children were not allowed to interrupt them.
Laura Ingalls writes that when her Ma would have guests for tea, she would always make sure the house was lovely. A tablecloth covered the table where delicious delicacies were served, and store-bought sugar sat next to the tea kettle. It was time set aside to enjoy the company of others, visit and pass the time.
Having a conversation most days feels like morris code rather than a dialogue. After a day filled with a million little questions and crying being the preferred speech of tiny ones, leaving you to figure out the need, it is easy to feel rubbed raw and in no mood for talking. Getting postage on a letter and walking it to the mailbox becomes the holy grail for the day.
My dad shared with me a story found in the book of Acts. It is a familiar story but mostly overlooked. It is about Paul being shipwrecked. In Acts 27:16-17, Paul wrote, “And running under the shelter of an island called Clauda; we secured the ship with difficulty. When they had taken it on board, they used cables to undergird the ship….”
Paul had been placed in Roman custody in Caesarea for two years, but he was sent by ship to Rome after appealing to Caesar. After departing the island of Crete, Paul’s ship was shipwrecked on Malta by a great storm.
There was talk about throwing everyone overboard. For this reason, Paul would later write in Acts 27:31, “Unless these men stay in the ship you cannot be saved.” Paul nor the soldiers knew the value of putting the cable around the ship- that was a sailor’s expertise coming to the surface. Passengers onboard the vessel aren’t making decisions. Don’t let your passengers make decisions either.
Experience cries louder than fear. Listen to it.
Jim Stockdale
Our families are like a ship. They won’t hold together without first securing the cables.
How these sailors got the cables in place is not the point. The point is that they knew they needed them. Securing the cables can be an arduous task that most people decline. However, children need to see agreeable conversation between mommy and daddy.
I can remember as a child, seeing my folks sitting in the living room visiting with one another after we had gone to bed. It gave me such comfort knowing they were still up and that they enjoyed being together. They saw the value of “Tea Time.”
I once asked a lady celebrating fifty years of marriage if she could give me one solid piece of advice as a young married woman. She quickly responded, “Make sure you have time all to yourself. That you and your spouse have your own separate time away from each other.”
Experience from peeping around the corner at bedtime and seeing my folks together on the couch taught me her advice was no way to build a ship. The number of years she had been married was depleted of quality. I quickly threw her advice overboard.
My father once told me, “Once you’ve been on a ship coming apart or watched one come apart; you stop looking at the “How” and consider only the “Why.”
Laura Ingalls knew how to secure the cables. After sixty-four years of marriage, she lost her dearest Almonzo, Manly, as she called him. He was ninety-two. She writes how dashing he was when he came for her in his wagon pulled by perfectly groomed Morgan horses and how patient and uncomplaining he had been through their life.
Chuck and I may not have a cup of tea; I reserve that for Eva and Charlotte. Besides, Chuck doesn’t like tea or coffee, so that wouldn’t fit us. Still, after supper, there is a time before he and I leave the table that we have all to ourselves. With little ones it has its moments of interruption, but overall Eva knows that is grown-up talk (Charlotte will too).
A sailors plea will always be to secure the cables on the ship. Let it be yours as well.
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let her be sorry to see him leave.
Martin Luther
Welcome Home
“You rule the raging of the sea. When its waves rise you still them.” Psalms 89:9
HOME SWEET HOME available now on Amazon!
IF YOU ARE ENJOYING THESE POSTS SUBSCRIBE BELOW
